For whatever reason, I am obsessed with people using the right names for things. I try to apply this to myself as well, but I am human (though my husband thinks I might actually be a martian), so I sometimes make mistakes.
Being a student of political science, I understand the difference between public discourse and private discussions, and how powerful certain words are in our society. I like to call a spade a spade, but you cannot be polite and do that (in all circumstances).
In my current sleep deprived state, and as the 2012 presidential election hubbub is churning pretty well this weekend, I recalled an interesting discussion I had with a young Mormon on a plane a few years ago.
I lived in Utah for about 18 months, and it was a beautiful place, but the pervasive nature of the Mormon religion got to me after a while. I never got proselytized by anyone while I lived there, but the fact that my professors' kids could not joint certain scout troops because they were not a Mormon really bothered me.
I went to Catholic schools most of my young life, and there were always a handful of non-Catholic students who were fully accepted members of the student body. Maybe they did not take communion during the service, but they were not ostracized for being of a different religious persuasion. There are many things I don't like about the Catholic church, but in my experience the parochial education facilities were fairly inclusive. Some might say they were exclusive since you had to pay for them (though most also had scholarship programs), but my high school in particular was on the fringes of a major metropolitan area, and it had at least a 35% minority student body. As the costs have risen over the years that percentage may have fallen, but I think my world view was shaped by that experience of diversity.
Okay, back on track now......
So I was sharing Utah memories with this young man, who wore a name tag on his pristine white dress shirt that read Elder Johnson (or some such generic last name). He was a nice young man, who allowed me to get out some of my beefs about his religion. I don't normally engage in conversations while flying, but this discussion was actually quite pleasurable. He offered me a Book of Mormon at the end of the flight. The lady on the other side of him asked for one as well, as her sister had recently married a Mormon, but he had given me his last spare. [I gave it to her as we walked to baggage claim, since I only accepted it to be polite.]
I think to be a missionary you have to have a little used car salesman in you, and this kid had just the right combination of being able to draw out your curiosity, listening politely to your silly questions, and getting his point across. He asked me for some feedback on his approach at the end of our discussion.
My only constructive criticism was that I, being old enough to be his mom, was slightly offended by the fact that he introduced himself as ELDER Johnson. The name tag was not as offensive, being just a piece of plastic. I explained that I understood this was a religious title assigned to him, but if you are trying to convince people of your credibility, how you introduce yourself is important.
I have a few titles, but I rarely use them. I am always amused at military courses or meetings where you are asked to introduce yourself to a room of your colleagues, and people use their rank before their name. We can see your uniform, so we know what your rank is, doofus! It is even more ridiculous when they don't use their first name, so afterwards you are forced to call them Commander Smith, even though you are all the same general rank.
As I explained to Elder Johnson, in my most patient and nice voice, it just makes me want to giggle when someone who has been on this earth less than half the time that I have been uses a title meant to suggest otherwise.
Being a student of political science, I understand the difference between public discourse and private discussions, and how powerful certain words are in our society. I like to call a spade a spade, but you cannot be polite and do that (in all circumstances).
In my current sleep deprived state, and as the 2012 presidential election hubbub is churning pretty well this weekend, I recalled an interesting discussion I had with a young Mormon on a plane a few years ago.
I lived in Utah for about 18 months, and it was a beautiful place, but the pervasive nature of the Mormon religion got to me after a while. I never got proselytized by anyone while I lived there, but the fact that my professors' kids could not joint certain scout troops because they were not a Mormon really bothered me.
I went to Catholic schools most of my young life, and there were always a handful of non-Catholic students who were fully accepted members of the student body. Maybe they did not take communion during the service, but they were not ostracized for being of a different religious persuasion. There are many things I don't like about the Catholic church, but in my experience the parochial education facilities were fairly inclusive. Some might say they were exclusive since you had to pay for them (though most also had scholarship programs), but my high school in particular was on the fringes of a major metropolitan area, and it had at least a 35% minority student body. As the costs have risen over the years that percentage may have fallen, but I think my world view was shaped by that experience of diversity.
Okay, back on track now......
So I was sharing Utah memories with this young man, who wore a name tag on his pristine white dress shirt that read Elder Johnson (or some such generic last name). He was a nice young man, who allowed me to get out some of my beefs about his religion. I don't normally engage in conversations while flying, but this discussion was actually quite pleasurable. He offered me a Book of Mormon at the end of the flight. The lady on the other side of him asked for one as well, as her sister had recently married a Mormon, but he had given me his last spare. [I gave it to her as we walked to baggage claim, since I only accepted it to be polite.]
I think to be a missionary you have to have a little used car salesman in you, and this kid had just the right combination of being able to draw out your curiosity, listening politely to your silly questions, and getting his point across. He asked me for some feedback on his approach at the end of our discussion.
My only constructive criticism was that I, being old enough to be his mom, was slightly offended by the fact that he introduced himself as ELDER Johnson. The name tag was not as offensive, being just a piece of plastic. I explained that I understood this was a religious title assigned to him, but if you are trying to convince people of your credibility, how you introduce yourself is important.
I have a few titles, but I rarely use them. I am always amused at military courses or meetings where you are asked to introduce yourself to a room of your colleagues, and people use their rank before their name. We can see your uniform, so we know what your rank is, doofus! It is even more ridiculous when they don't use their first name, so afterwards you are forced to call them Commander Smith, even though you are all the same general rank.
As I explained to Elder Johnson, in my most patient and nice voice, it just makes me want to giggle when someone who has been on this earth less than half the time that I have been uses a title meant to suggest otherwise.
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